"The First 90 Days"

I had hoped to comment on a clarified political race tonight, but unfortunately the Democratic Primaries swung towards uncertainty.  I am eager to see what kind of leader the new President will be and what kind of nation our country will become.  My Thoreau professor asked us what issues we see as the major topics of this election.  It is probably a sign of how college has warped my political views that healthcare was my first thought and answer. 

Change occures so rapidly.  A few months can remake the world and set the whole course of a life on fire.  I remember this time four years ago thinking I never knew a world outside my parent's house and I would soon be an adult required to sculpt my own surroundings.  I hoped my values and morality would stay constant.  I believe these four years have left them better than they found them.  Perhaps showing a bit more wear and weathering but made more familiar by the experience. 

"Sleep is the best meditation."

Went to a public lecture by the Dalai Lama at Assembly Hall today.  I was surprised by how personable he was able to be, despite having a limited grasp of the language.  He had a very unique laugh and was able to use humor very effectively to reach the audience.  The substance of his talk was well structured but not terribly deep or complex.  It was nice to see a major political/religious figure and the story of his life escaping the PRC invasion of Tibet is fascinating.  I think the majority of the people were there to see him and not really to hear his presentation.

His talk focused on compassion which he viewed as the major, fundamental human value.  He saw its universal existence in all societies as evidence for the existence of common ethics in mankind.  Affection was closely linked to this and, in parts of his speech, he used them almost interchangeably with affection being the application of compassion.  He viewed everyone as having an obligation to demonstrate affection towards other people.  Near the middle of his speech, he used an argument which basically said since war results in less population loss than the population gain from filial compassion/affection, the virtue in mankind dominates the evil.   On the topic of the choosing of the next Dalai Lama (there has been some controversy regarding whether the next one can be born among the population of exiles in India or will be chosen from among the people of Tibet where the PRC would be able to control the process), he found it odd that a government which is avowedly atheist would want a say in religious affairs.  I thought the argument was rather cheeky.

I thought compassion was an interesting choice for a central virtue.  I wonder if some of it may be due to translational difficulties, but on face it was worth considering.  I always connotate compassion as requiring the recipient to be disadvantaged in some way.  I prefer the ideas of love and grace to be the virtues to strive for, but the idea of showing affection towards an enemy was a different idea that somehow seems more active than love. 

In the discussion with a professor of religion we had at Harlos House afterwards, the argument about the dominate nature of man and war was readily dismissed.  It's clearly arbitrary but I think it could be a tricky one to deal with.  There is a hidden assumption that all life which man creates is cared for and that the destruction of life, at the very least, is indicative of  all the ways which people can be evil.  Both of these assumptions, of course, are problematic. 

Overall I thought the event was memorable.  Assembly Hall, they used half of it to seat the audience, was full which was probably about 10,000 people at least.  Most were adults and not students, which was odd.  There was a lot of Tibetan Merchandise being sold outside in the hallways which seemed a bit tacky to me. 

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

The 10th of August was the last day of my first job.  I spent the summer interning in Indianapolis for the Indiana Court of Appeals and, while none of the work I did was terribly important or complex, I regretted leaving the court with the people I had learned from over the past two months.  It was a bittersweet experience.  I was glad I had the opportunity to be around people and gain from their experiences, but I looked forward to starting my senior year while preparing for my future.  There are great people in government work.  I'm not sure I could do many of those jobs for the rest of my life, but it will be very difficult, I believe, to have a work environment as close-nit as that in the future.  There is a loss in this.

I am now back in Bloomington.  It is strange to be on the campus again.  When I left last fall, a new life science building was under construction.  It is completed now.  In a few short months I will be done with my college career and hoping to use it to gain opportunities elsewhere.  I'm unsure how busy my year will be as I will be submitting law school applications through much of first semester.  The first of September draws closer every day.

164

"None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

My years in college are rapidly ending.  It really feels like I just begun.  And just as when high school ended I feel a mixed uncertainty and anxiety about the future.  I hope I will enjoy my life when I am working and contributing to society close to as much as I enjoy it now.  I've had a lot of success in college.  I have a high GPA and will graduate with honors notation and a degree in business honors.  I've had two internships, took classes on three continents, and held leadership positions in my major and my church.

I took the LSAT this weekend and fear that all of those things will be supplanted by the three numbers I get in return for my test.  I feel a mixed emotion at this because I want my profession to have barriers and be hard to get into.  I also feel tests are great equalizers and can reveal the motivation of a student and the quality of their studies better than most other endeavors.  I also feel that my score on the test should be rewarded as the result of my efforts.  You never know how these things will go.  The only equivalent I've had to a major test like this was the SAT in high school and in that I had taken it several times before I took it to send to colleges.  However, if I were to be blessed with success, I do think a good part of it is due to my efforts and motivations in getting ready for the exam and that should reflect well on me in preparing for law school.

On the other hand, I feel my accomplishments and efforts in school, which has been my life for the past three years, are now suddenly made worthless.  If where I can go next fall is determined solely on the result of a test, whether for good or for bad, my efforts to experience all I have are worthless as a gateway to my future and there is something lost in that.